crumbled and rolled

the silver jews blues 09/09/2010

Filed under: readable — paperslightertext @ 1:05 am

falling in love? not sure if i believe in that.

which stock character do i play
in this role playing game starter town?
the doe-eyed ingenue. though i favor those who won’t baby me
if God were a novelist i’d pray he guide me safely
engineer my happiness, into someone’s arms
out of the valley of darkness, amen.

would he forgive my slightest sin? that minor seventh?
commandment slightly bent, not broken- its name not spoken-

it sickens me to be stricken so publicly
yet i can hardly put down my pen
my heart is racing and the lines unfold before me
like lanes into the horizon, power lines and cacti
on the dusty highway strip.

perhaps life is like writing a song is like falling in love. it evaporates like a dream upon waking. my only experience of falling in love has been like that- murky, ephemeral- something brief and imagined that happens in the moments before reality sets in.

i wanted to write you a song, but i think now i would have to write you a whole album in anticipation of the things i’d dreamed up. let’s not get carried away now, self.

“i have not avoided certainty. it has always just eluded me. i wish i knew, i wish i knew for sure.” – d. berman


2 Responses to “the silver jews blues”

  1. Emily Says:

    This is lovely. I miss you. I got to thinking about you today, went through stuff on lemonfingers I hadn’t read, and then realized I couldn’t find you on facebook anymore.

    Are you still where you had been? Or have you left?

    • emily! it’s so good to hear from you! i can’t believe you found my blog, literally no one reads this. i turned my facebook off because it was destroying my life and making me neurotic (social networking is creepy!!) i couldn’t deal with the feed, you know?

      yes, i’m still living in yellow springs, still a college dropout. i’m working at the Emporium now- it’s a coffee shop slash liquor store. it’s a great place. i’m making music, just hanging out.

      you still in ohio? i assume you’ve graduated from OU by now, right? if you’re still around you should totally pay me a visit. you have my number, right? it’s the same as it’s always been. we could go to steak and shake and catch up, just like old times.

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