the first scene opens with her announcing to a man whose genitals were actually attached, “you know,” ducking into the back by the stove to make sure no late shoppers overheard, “i kind of want to become a slut.” before the gasp “it’s okay for me to say that, i’m a woman,” making sure to include the comma- just right- abrasive but always resorting to stereotypes and knob-slobbering for cheap laughs. with her screenplay completed, all she needed was an editor and she could send it off to LA, starring seth rogen, judd apatow and whatever other dudebrah funnyboy jerk-offs she could dredge up. to the suit: “okay, you can make these pathetic edits, but take my name off the script.” she walked with a cool mil and fuck the industry, starting a farm with a rule: no dicks allowed unless they detach.
and that is how i wrote and directed the first all-female stoner movie. 08/24/2009